Just Go

What has been keeping me from being single?

Over several shots of vodka, rum and margarita, two people told me why.

Over filtering, because I have a rigid standard. "Why do you have to expect that that someone is smarter, more mature and would always understand you? Why should it be a good conversationalist? The fact that your past experiences tell you that these qualifications do not necessarily lead you towards a relationship that you want may mean that men falling under your criteria would not make you happy. Do not be engulfed with your standards. Open yourself to liking men in all possibilities."

Aloofness, because I am closing doors. "You are not entertaining men on the first place. They might see you as someone who is not interested to anyone, without even trying. No harm in trying, Joyce. As it goes with your career, you wouldn't know what will make you happy until you dare taking risky decisions."

Misprioritization, as I am thinking too much of my career. "Opportunities of knowing someone whom you can eventually love are not getting through you, since entering into relationships is among your least priorities. Think about it, that office mate you talked about may still be single in her forties because she is letting her world evolve around her career. Live your own life. Take the chances that your parents are still strong enough to be left by themselves. Do not wait until you ask yourself, 'What if I move out..?' If, by the time you're living by your own, you feel regretful of leaving your parents, you can always go back."

Although I should have known this by now, but I still see dating as an inevitable step towards a serious relationship. "Do not be afraid to date. You wouldn't be hated if you eventually pull out because you begin to realize that you are not dating the person that would make you happy."