A Bitter Visit

I happen to take a visit at the school's website, and I never thought that what I'll see will entertain me a great deal:

AB in Political Science

"This Program concentrates on the theory and practice of government and
politics. It has two broad purposes: first to provide an excellent
liberal education in Political Science; and second, to prepare the
student for a professional career in government service or for careers dealing
with public issues and problems.The curriculum is designed to expose the students to a variety of course work and activities which will provide a broad understanding of the curriculum. dealing with public issues and problems. The curriculum is designed to expose the students to a variety of course work and activities which will provide a broad understanding of the curriculum. "

Okay. At the outset, I must admit that course descriptions are necessarily created out of motherhood statements.

first to provide an excellent liberal education in Political Science;

Oh well, what is "excellent liberal education in Political Science"? I can never be more curious of knowing what it is and how it was inculcated. I could have been happier if that liberal education is indoctrinated, at least I had become aware of its existence in the curriculum. After 4 years of sleepless nights from reading volumes of photocopied materials, denial of conducting seminars lectured by "liberal" and "radical" people, continuous psy-wars and bullying of polsci professors (majority claim to be all-knowing in the field) who are by the way unprofessional of being bullies and unreasonable of unabashedly throwing psy-wars to students just to make us "change for the better", I find the course description of the degree I earned as incredulously funny. Liberal education is already aborted inside the classroom.

and second, to prepare the student for a professional career in government service or for careers dealing with public issues and problems

For the record, there are only two subjects that are in touch in dealing with professional career in government service: public administration and planning methods; and three subjects related with public issues and problems: conflict resolution, environmental politics, and political dynamics. And except for the latter, all of which are fourth year subjects. Well, it is better late than never. But despite of being privileged to learn these things, I can dare you to ask any polsci students whether they are willing to have "a professional career in government service". I doubt if they are less disillusioned in government systems and public service than the vendors in Asturias. Thanks for the curriculum by the way for convincing us that this "damaged" society is already incurable.

As for the last two sentences, can someone refute me by saying that they are not redundant or tautological?

I suddenly thought of the increased fee for this school year that my parents are supposed to pay in installment basis in case I am a year younger than my age: P34,921.05, ranking second as the most expensive major in the entire AB (let me give credit to CA). With lesser (and less-interested) professors and the good-ol' curriculum, I could have voluntarily stopped schooling out of distaste. Something is really wrong - or should I say, everything seems to be wrong in Political Science of the Social Science Department.

Oh, speaking of being part of the "Social Science Department", I am also very fortunate to experience working and defending a qualitative thesis of about three hundred pages without being read by neither the adviser nor the panelists. We were lamenting then where does Karl Popper's "conjectures and refutations" go.

What have I learned after four years in polsci? It is the exemplification of one of life's most bitter cliches: Life is unfair.

By the way, for those people interested in law like me, polsci is a good pre-law for it teaches you in a hard way that justice is arbitrary.

Too bad, they could have just written my little polsci lessons as the course description.

Kamanhiran


Labingwalong oras na ang nakalilipas nang pumila ako ng isang oras para maghintay ng sasakyan pauwi. Ito ang nagpahintulot sa akin na paliparin ang aking isipan upang masilip ang mga maaring mangyari sa mga susunod pang araw.

Pagkatapos ng walong buwan ng pag-iisip at pagkalito, ano na? Wala pa rin akong sagot; hindi ko pa rin alam ang dapat kong gawin sa iyo; hindi ko pa rin alam kung sino ka, kung sino ka sa akin, kung sino ako sa iyo, at kung sapat at mahalaga pa bang itanong sa aking sarili ang mga bagay na ito. Maaring nabiyayaan ako ng sapat na panahon para makiramdam at makapagbigay-kasagutan sa mga tanong na ito, ngunit sa huli, napagtanto ko na nilustay ko lamang ang walong buwan sapagkat ako ay naging manhid at nabigo (o maaring tinamad) na patahimikin ang aking sarili.

At maaring wala ng pagkakataon sa hinaharap para matugunan ko ang mga kalituhang ito sa aking sarili. Hindi ko pa rin maitatanggi na nananatiling maluwag ang pagkapit natin sa kamay ng isa't isa. Maaring sa isang iglap, wala ka na... o wala na ako; at sa pagkakataong iyon, pagsisihan ko ang bawat minutong winaglit ko sa pagbibigay-halaga sa kahalagahan natin sa isa't isa.

Kapag ba natitigan ko na ang iyong mga mata, mangangahulugan kaya na mas magiging tapat ka sa iyong mga mararamdaman, kaysa ngayong pinapagitnaan tayo ng pagkakataon?

Kapag ba naramdaman mo ang mahigpit kong yakap, mangangahulugan kaya na hindi ka lalayo sa aking piling, kaysa ngayon kung saan ang mga salita mo lamang ang nagbibigay sa akin ng ganoong pag-asa?

Hindi kaya ang paglapit mo sa akin ang siya mo namang paglayo sa aking piling?

Hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman sa mga nakakagulat mong tugon nang malaman mo ang aking pagkatao, ni hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman sa mga nakalulungkot na bagay na iyong pinagtapat.

Hindi ko pa rin alam kung karapatdapat kang pagkatiwalaan at kung talagang pinagkakatiwalaan mo ako.

Hindi ko man lamang inaalam kung kailan ako nagiging sanhi ng iyong kalungkutan at pagkamuhi.

At kung mayroon mang isang bagay na alam ko, iyon ay ang makuntento sa hindi paghanap ng kasagutan.

Acclamation

I am void.
A reflection without a body

A bodiless soul
A soul living in an empty space
A space encapsulated in a glass
A glass deprived to reflect.

I am an accident.
A dot trapped in multiple intersections

An intersection with no favorite direction
A direction without a path.
A path that is never taken.

I am stale.

An eerie sound unheard
A sound stereotypically listened.

An indolent competitor
An unrequited stalker.

I smile to kill.
I frigidly forgive.
Amorally numb.

I am nonchalantly independent.

It was 1999

We were careless, we were small
We thought it was love for nothing at all.

You had forgotten how we were

You loved another and laughed at me.

I had thrown your silver bracelet,
Erased the tatoo of your name
Had watched you ruined

And never cared.

We have forgotten
When was the last time we held

It was 1999.

Running for seven years
Worlds are beginning to collide
But to quickly fall apart.

We were careless, we are strangers.
We had forgotten what was left
For 1999.

I'll be there

When you wake up each morning and you feel like calling, I'll be there for you.
When the road is uncertain and you can't stop the hurting, I'll be there for you.
When there's no one beside you I'll be there to guide you, catch you each time you fall.
When the stars don't shine anymore, I'll be there.

When the road is unkind and your dreams they need more time, I'll be there for you.
If the rules they keep breaking and the future is fading, I'll be there for you.

The rainbow will end in the palm of your hand, don't ever let it go.
When the stars don't shine anymore, I'll be there.

Who knows where we'll go, what will tomorrow bring?
But we have each other, just hold on tight.
We can take to the skies and fly.